its been a year.. why not?

This is weird. I haven't done this since last summer. It's finals week and I'm bored because I don't have any finals this semester so I have literally nothing to do with my life right now.

Because of said boredom I figured I'd give this a shot again.

Right now: I'm watching tangled while I should be cleaning my room. story of my life.

Reading: I just started the Kite Runner by Khaled Hosseini. I've heard its really good but Andrew just told me it was intense tonight after we got home from prayer hour. So we'll see.

Songs: I'm really into Texas Country right now.. like Sean Mcconnell and the new Josh Abbott cd that just came out. all good things.

Scripture: I'm not going to lie.. I've been super lax with my reading this semester. not good.

Quote: "On the darkest nights, the brightest stars shine"

My Life: Sometimes I feel like my best friends are books. No, really.
I mean they have all the qualities you would want a friend to have. They're always there for you when you need them, but they're fine on their own too. They understand your problems and usually say something profound and just what you need to hear. They don't nag you or make you feel bad about yourself. Reading a book is like making all new friends. You get introduced to the deepest part of the characters life and really feel like you're going through it with them. Going back and re- reading them (like I do literally all the time) is like coming back for a little visit. You get new things from books every time you pick one up.. They just know you so well and their wisdom can be applied to every situation. They never hang out with the other books on the shelf without you.. you're always invited to the party that is reading. You're never abandoned by the book.. they always wait patiently for you to visit again and are so eager to catch you up on what you've missed out on. No matter how busy you are or how rough your life is going.. they always know how to best take your mind off of it.

SO.. I may not have the most actual friends or be the best at making them.. but I sure know how to read. And that's basically the same thing..


I love to read and I'm unashamed. It's the little things in this crazy life that mean the most.

oh hey june.. whats up.

My life basically peaks during in june. or thats how its usually been my whole life. Glad its finally here.



Right  Now: I'm at work.. again. Shame on me.. i know i know. Maybe i should be a better person. We'll work on that later. Lets just say at work today i heard the word deposition more than i ever have in my life. and i cant even tell you what a deposition is.. just that is some legal jargon that escapes my knowledge. go dr. j. and also.. i had to move a whole box of files by myself. i thought hmm this thing is super heavy so ill take out files and move it in like 2 or 3  trips. way to go jess.. workin that college education.


Reading: No Improvements on the book. I hate when i get unmotivated to read..


Songs: Two Words.. Boyce Avenue.

          One Video..

As one of the comments on the video said.. katy perry made this song about sex boyce avenue made it about love. theyre beautiful. enjoy.


Scripture: Be strong, and let your heart take courage, all you who wait for the Lord!

- Psalm 31:24


Quote: "a single sunbeam is enough to drive away many shadows" -- St. Francis of Assisi

My Life: hmm what to talk about..
Last night the roomie and i decided to get ice cream and watch 10 things i hate about you. both excellent decisions i must say. Even though i ate like 1/4-1/3 of my carton.. but its okay! its low fat. my mother taught me well. I just love that movie so so much. anything with joseph gordon levitt im bound to be obsessed with. hes just so beautiful.

mm. mmhmm. hokay. i feel like i dont have anything interesting to say so..
today i got a weird urge to look at all my old camp pictures and reminisce a little bit. it honestly blows my mind how different your life can become in two years. i dont even remember how i lived my life back then. everything is so different now: i dont live at home, im in college, im not dating the same person which changes a lot of things, i dont live my life for one week out of the year, i can do things for myself now, my summers dont consist of watching the same 4 movies over and over again and just hanging out everyday. even if i wish it did. i dont really have the same friends. i mean there are the ones that are in cs with me now so i still have those, but i dont really talk to anyone from high school anymore and my camp friends that i dont see ive kind of lost touch with. and now i have so many awesome friends here. sometimes i just kind of look around and go.. what happened to my life? but in a good way.

this thought brings me back to the point of why i do this.. life is ridiculous and blows my mind. everything always changes and i dont really like change but it happens so gradually i dont even know. it gets messy sometimes, it rushes by but its only life.

5/30/11-- I just hope i die before i have to wear adult diapers..

 haha ohh my roomie rach.. she says the most hilarious slash ridiculous things sometimes

okay just going to jump right in with it. its been an.. interesting weekend i guess you could say.

Right now: i'm sitting in bed.. its super late but for some reason i just dont feel like sleeping. Maybe it'll hit me here pretty soon.. i hope so at least.

Reading: still working on something borrowed. its pretty scandalous. i mean i knew it would be, so i shouldnt be surprised, but still. i dont know how i feel about it really. im just trying to get through it so i can get to all the other books on my summer reading list.

Songs: The songs for my life today are 1) the mess i made- parachute 2) somebodys gonna love you- matt wertz and 3) its only life- kate voegele 4)taking changes- glee version they all just came on shuffle from itunes while i was writing this.. so i feel like theyre pretty applicable and just good songs. 

Scripture: I will give thanks to you, O Lord, among the peoples; i will sing praises to you among the nations. For your steadfast love is great to the heavens, your faithfulness to the clouds. Be exalted, O God, above the heavens! Let your glory be over all the earth!

Psalm 57: 9-11

Quote: Don't let go to soon but don't hold on too long..

- Mitch Albom

My Life: Tonight was fun. After worship me, my roomie, and two guys from church went to eat then a group of us went to play real mafia. its basically where two people are picked to "kill" everyone else in a pitch black house. hilarious, frustrating, and kind of freaky all at the same time. needless to say i died very early almost every round and when i was the mafia i was caught usually after i killed one person everytime. haha im just not meant to live that lifestyle i guess. dang it..

Boy News: Havent talked to him since saturday night. awesome. looks like its going well haha. oh well im just trying not to worry about it and go with the flow. although i do just want to feel special. seriously i really think thats all girls want.. they might want it shown in different ways but when you get down to it, we just want to know that the boy in our life cares about us and wants to be with us and talk to us. guys write that down.. its gold. With me at least, the best way to get me annoyed slash insecure slash not feeling it so much is to ignore me or make me feel like i dont matter. its not a general rule for everyone, but i feel like it is for most people. 

Memorial day plans: i think ive heard rumors about a cookout or at least getting together in some way to eat.. we'll see if that plays out haha. Then were having a bible study.. always good. 

In other news: im going home next weekend! i didnt realize how long its been since ive been home. My bff clay is home from florida yayyy and were hanging out all weekend which is good because i miss him a super ton. if thats even an acceptable phrase to say haha. 

i just love CS so so much. everyone here is awesome and im so blessed to be a part of it. i can't beleive im halfway through my time here.. it actually kind of depresses me so im just not going to think about it. and as much as im not very good at it, i just love love getting to know new awesome people! that just makes me really happy. and sometimes i do that thing where i irrationally want to be peoples best friend and i think if they knew it they would get really weirded out. but i just recognize how cool they are and want to know about them and be a part of their life. so technically if you think about it.. its kind of a compliment. own it.

Sometimes i seriously think about my life and just kind of laugh at how ridiculous it is. i mean its a good ridiculous i wouldnt have it any other way. but when something typical happens to me my friend callie usually comes back with something like "of course this happens to you" or "i dont understand your life.. its much more ridiculous than most peoples" something along those lines. and it really really is.. but i found this quote and it makes me a little happier.. Life is messy. Wonderfully messy. Relish it. –Frédéric Fekkai. so im just going to embrace my ridiculous, messy, wonderfully messy life and enjoy the ride.

its been one of those weeks where ive pulled out 12 eyelashes..

It's something I do when I get stressed/worried/in deep thought. I play with my eyelashes and pop out they come. My mom always gets so mad at me when I do, but shocker.. I learned the habit from her. Thanks Jeanna.


Anyways about my life:

 Right Now: First off im at work so this is probably kind of illegal but there is literally no one here except for me and Sheri, the other receptionist and i got like 4 hours of sleep last night so im letting myself off the hook. sheesh theres only so much scanning i can do without wanting to vomit.

 Reading: I just finished both The Choice and A Walk to Remember this week. Both excellent classic N Sparks, i know its silly but i just can't get enough.and somehow i never expect the bad stuff that always happens in his books.. it always catches me off guard lol. I also started Something Borrowed to see what they hype is all about.. its pretty good but im not that far into it yet so we'll see.

Song: The Songs for my past couple of days have been 1)dont you wanna stay by Jason Aldean and Kelly Clarkson 2)give into me from country strong 3)kiss the girl duh from little mermaid 4)somewhere beautiful by sean mcconnell. what a wide variety of musical choices.. i know i know. Once i explain my life these will all make sense. cause right now i just sound kind of crazy haha

Scripture: Since this is my first post like this ill just name a few of my favs. Hebrews 12:1-2, Galatians 2:20, Psalm 103, Proverbs 3:5-6. Thats just a few. look at them.. theyre great.

Quote: Instead of telling our young people to plan ahead, we should tell them to plan to be surprised-
Dan in Real Life

My Life: ohhh this could take a while..

mmm pancakes.  

okay so i like this guy. and he's moving in a few weeks, but going on a backpacking trip during the time before his job starts. so our time left is zero. i had to talk to him about what was happening with us last night. hes just not exactly the type to display all his feelings all the time, so i had to bring it up. i mean which is fine im just not too good about stuff like that either. but it turned out well. he said he liked me and wanted to try it.. so yay :) BUT back to him not really dealing with his feelings well.. i think that kind of goes into him not really k nowing how to talk to slash deal with me in a romantic situation. Hes just not the type of guy who does it a lot and i think it just overwhelms him and kind of freaks him out maybe? but he said that he wanted to try it so i guess im just going to have to guide it slash kind of help him a long with it. im just super worried because its kind of like we want it to be something and then hes gone for 2 weeks. then ill maybe get to see him sometime during the summer around his new work schedule.. oh yeah he's an aerospace engineer. what? no big deal. its just scary for me because i really do like him a lot and i get worried about him just deciding im not worth it or him not talking to me becasue he doesnt really know how.

good though: we cuddled a lot last night and hes just so so cute and precious. and we were like sitting with out feet up and leaning into each other with linked arms and holding hands and i kind of fell asleep on his shoulder for just a little bit and woke up and he had is head resting on mine. so so cute. hes just so hard to read and know how to deal with sometimes. like he was all like that last night and i dont hear from him today until i text him at like 7. what in america. okay see i just dont know how to feel about all this. and i fell like when my emotions are up my grammar and punctuation rules go out the window. oops.

SO basically:My life is going pretty good right now.. at least i think so.. we'll see how the boy situation works out haha. ohhh what a crazy mess. this could be a pretty great mess though.. hopefully hopefully so.

5/23/11-- My First Run at This Whole Blog Thing.

I'm new to this whole blog thing, but i thought id give it a try mainly to just get everything out in a semi-productive way. Now, im really not expecting people to read this and thats perfectly fine. Just in case someone happens to find this though here are a few things about me

1. im a christian trying to serve God as best as i can

2. im a native texan born and raised and the loudest and proudest member of the fightin texas aggie class of 2013 A-A-A WHoop!

3. i love: to read, relax, try new things, lets be honest.. i love to eat, workout, hang out with my friends, sing, clouds, stars, snuggling, summer, sunshine, texas a&m, my church family at Twin City Church of Christ just to name a few

4. i have two dogs back home, but im still in college station for the summer so i dont get to see them or my family. sad day.

5. ive basically had the same friends since i was 3 except for all the awesome people ive met in cs. but basically its made me not the best at making friends.. sometimes my life is so sisterhood its ridiculous.

Basically, this is just going to be for me to just talk my life out, its the only way i ever really decide how to handle it or get anything done. Like i said earlier, im not really expecting anyone to read this, just writing all this down on the off chance that someone stumbles upon this and gets curious. hopefully itll be a little funny, a little silly, kind of messy. afterall my life is just a beautiful mess. that's why i need this.